No expectation for rapid cure

One difficult thing in transforming a major pattern is impatience. I want to be over this now. I want my mind to be clear, free of thoughts of this. I want it to be behind me. I don't want to have conversations with people about it anymore. I don't want to even remember that I had to think about it.

But, you know, it's only been a few days. Thoughts are going to be there. Conversations are going to happen. I expect that I will probably have negative emotions, obsessive thoughts, and so on for at least another three months or so. That's my estimate based on past experience and what I've read online.

After that point, of course, the danger really begins. Because once the intensity of the thing wears off, it's all to easy to believe that it's ok to do this or that. To forget why you detached in the first place. To get lazy, overly secure.

So, while this constant mentation & worry & strife is pretty irritating, I'm going to accept it for what it is. I'm going to realize that it's the enemy I know, and that after it passes, an enemy I don't know will rise in its place.

Maybe a little combative - but this morning? That's how it feels. I'm ready to fight.

Posterous theme by Cory Watilo